Pre-Show Announcement

ANNOUNCER: The following episode contains discussions and depictions of violence, body horror, suicide, gaslighting, imprisonment, and death, as well as menacing situations, disturbing content, and jump scares. Listener discretion is advised.

Episode Begins

[The sound of waves and seagulls can be heard. A nautical bell rings.]

COUNT DRACULA: Docks of Varna. June sixth, 1893.

[Boots approach, walking on the wooden planks of a dock.]

FIRST MATE OLGAREN: Fair winds, Captain Skinsky.

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: First Mate Olgaren, fair winds. Is my ship ready to set out?

[Both Captain Skinsky and Olgaren speak with Russian accents.]

FIRST MATE OLGAREN: We are about done with the cargo. Once these last boxes are down in the hold, we should be ready to go.

[As the two men talk, we hear the creak of wooden boxes. Some flies buzz around them.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: I will be glad to see the back of Varna. The vermin here are getting bolder. And they seem to be attracted to our cargo... Eyah!

[A pack of rats squeak and scatter.]

FIRST MATE OLGAREN: So what you are saying is you won’t be spending much time in the hold during the voyage?

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: That is what I pay you for.

[Olgaren laughs.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Mmm… You have a sour look about you. Is there something that troubles you?

FIRST MATE OLGAREN: Petrof... Everything about this assignment sits poorly with me. A nighttime departure? Strange items in the hold? A request that there be no shipboard chaplain? I like none of it.

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Come now, Aleksey, we are friends. Say how you really feel.

[Olgaren hawks up a loogie and spits.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Eloquent as always. Aleksey, it is... unusual. But we are being paid. Triple our rate. Boxes of dirt are hardly the strangest item we have transported.

[More flies buzz around them.]

FIRST MATE OLGAREN: Not all of it is dirt, Petrof. Dirt doesn’t attract flies. What is inside some of them must be -

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: None of our business, Mister Olgaren. None of our business.

[An ominous drone begins to sound…]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Come, my friend. I know what will make you feel better.

[A bag is opened. Glass clinks.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Imperial Brut. Abrau-Durso. Come - Abramoff can handle the last of the cargo. Let’s have a glass.

FIRST MATE OLGAREN: Well... if you are sure.

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Mister Olgaren, as your captain, I am here to tell you: this journey to America is going to fly by once the drinking begins.

[A wave crashes. The droning reaches a fevered pitch, and transitions into the main Dracula: The Danse Macabre theme music.]

ANNOUNCER: Dracula: The Danse Macabre. Starring Evangeline Young as Mina Harker and Peter Coleman as Count Dracula. Episode 2: A Stranger in a Strange Land.

[The theme music fades out. We hear the familiar sound of a crackling fireplace.]

COUNT DRACULA: As our tale turns towards the New World, I am curious… why did Jonathan go to Transylvania, and not you?

[Mina exhales, then clears her throat.]

MINA HARKER: I was not asked to go. Jonathan and I grew up together, after we both lost our families. We learned about vampires and the world of the occult from my grandfather. But we each had our own distinct assets. I was the strong, clever one, and he was -

COUNT DRACULA: A man?

MINA HARKER: ... employable. He had a university degree, and a good name, and a strong aquiline nose. He had training as a clerk, and it made it easy enough for him to travel without arousing suspicions. Nobody ever asked for too many details of what brought him to this or that place. Tellson’s could use someone like that as one of their spies. They were far less interested in the... little woman in his life.

COUNT DRACULA: And so they sent him on a doomed mission that was above his abilities. And you stayed behind and rid churches of their pests.

MINA HARKER: Hmm. Mind yourself, Count Dracula. My dealings in churchyards were just one of the things I did with my time. I also spent quite a bit of time making sure the next generation was prepared to face all manner of terrible trials.

[A fast whip crack! We are in a different room, with various young voice in indistinct conversation around us.]

MINA HARKER: All right, ladies, last class of the term. Let’s end on a high note. If we can.

[Around her, the classroom settles into silence.]

MINA HARKER: If there’s one thing I want to leave you with, it’s the importance of picking the right tool for the job. It can be the difference between life and death. It’s not about what you know, it’s about -

[She snaps her fingers.]

MINA HARKER: - instinct. It’s whether you can make the right decision without even stopping to think about it. So... could I have a volunteer, please?

[A bit of movement around her.]

MINA HARKER: Miss Moresby. Feeling brave today? All right.

[A rustle of cloth.]

MINA HARKER: If you had to pick one of these, for say... a Brandenburg Scenario, which one would you choose?

[A clink of silverware.]

MINA HARKER: ...Ahh. That - that would be a fish fork, Miss Moresby, not an entree fork. I suppose, then again, sometimes it is about what you know. All right. If we could please open our books to page one-forty-six...

[Various books are opened and pages are turned.]

MINA HARKER: Teaching manners and etiquette at Miss Portnoy’s School for Girls was not exactly where I thought I would spend most of my twenties. But I suppose someone had to teach young girls the finer points of how the world would judge them based on how they looked, sounded, dressed, smelled, ate, breathed, moved, stood still, and replied to correspondence - penmanship matters, and one should always RSVP legibly, thank you very much.

COUNT DRACULA: Oh, but of course.

MINA HARKER: But as professions went, it left me plenty of time for my own devices, and to spend time with -

[A door opens. A young woman with a lilting voice enters.]

LUCY WESTENRA: There you are.

MINA HARKER: Lucy. What are you doing here?

[Lucy shuts the door behind her.]

LUCY WESTENRA: I am looking for you, Mina. A little birdie told me that you were still working, this late in the term. So your own personal guardian angel is here to set you free.

MINA HARKER: Is she now?

[Lucy pulls up a chair. Around them, a bird tweets.]

LUCY WESTENRA: She is, and she’s all packed up.

MINA HARKER: You’re going somewhere?

LUCY WESTENRA: We are going somewhere. You agreed to come with me to Coney Island for the weekend.

MINA HARKER: And it was the real me that agreed? Not just a figment in a daydream?

LUCY WESTENRA: What a good question. Let’s go right now, before we interrogate it further and discover an answer I won’t like. Come, come, come.

MINA HARKER: Lucy, no. I have business to attend to. Just because you show up here and… bat your lovely eyelashes at me doesn’t mean I’ll drop everything to go to Coney Island with you.

[Abruptly we get the sound of various carnival games and attractions. Various people scream in amusement and laugh around us. We are, it seems, now in Coney Island.]

MINA HARKER: Journal of Mina Harker. August 5th. I’ve... ugh… come down to Coney Island for the weekend with Lucy.

LUCY WESTENRA: Oh look at that! Isn’t it amazing? Don’t you love it, Mina? I think I love it. It’s either… hmm… an astrolabe..

[Lucy continues talking, but over her dialogue, we hear:]

MINA HARKER: In the entire time that I’ve known Lucy Westenra, I have never once figured out how to say no to her. In my defense, as shortcomings go, mine is shared by just about everyone in the Western hemisphere.

LUCY WESTENRA: Oh! Oh my god, really? That is so kind of you, but really: are you sure it’s okay for us to just take these? Oh, aren’t you just the loveliest man, thank you. Here Mina, try some candy floss.

MINA HARKER: I did not want any candy floss. I had it anyway. I hated how wonderful it was.

LUCY WESTENRA: Oh, but wait, I have gossip! I have so much to tell you, darling. But you must keep it a secret, all right?

MINA HARKER: I could always depend on Lucy to distract me from the things that mattered with some outrageous gossip, and she outdid herself.

LUCY WESTENRA: Well, he found me yesterday and he hold me how dear I was to him, even though we’ve known each other so little…

MINA HARKER: Two days ago, she’d had a man ask her to marry him.

LUCY WESTENRA: … nice, but it isn’t a happy thing when you have to break a poor man’s heart.

MINA HARKER: Not just that. She’d been proposed to by two men on the same day.

LUCY WESTENRA: … Mr. Quincey Morris. The man from Texas, you remember him? He has rather fresh look about him, like he’s been on so many adventures.

MINA HARKER: She’d turned down both of these suitors. Not because she didn’t like them, but because... well...

LUCY WESTENRA: Oh Mina, you’re going to think me such a horrid flirt, but... I’ve had my eye set on someone else for some time. You remember Arthur, don’t you? That lovely man from England, the son of the lord? He’s been visiting these two months... and well, maybe I shouldn’t tell you this, but I’ve been contriving every excuse -

COUNT DRACULA: I’m sorry, but who in the nine hells cares about this???

[The sound of the carnival cut off. We are back in the frame story, with the fireplace. A book snaps shut.]

MINA HARKER: I beg your pardon?

COUNT DRACULA: Is any of this... fatuous recitation relevant to our purposes?

MINA HARKER: Patience. Call it... table-setting.

[Dracula groans…]

MINA HARKER: Our walk led us onto a deck along the pier, away from the crowds.

[The sounds of lapping water fade into the scene. Lucy sighs.]

LUCY WESTENRA: August 26th. Three weeks from today. That’s when he’s leaving. So... that’s the state of affairs. There’s a trail of broken hearts behind me, but the man whose heart I really want is... well, there’s about to be an Atlantic Ocean between us.

MINA HARKER: Does he know? Have you told Lord Holmwood how you feel about him?

LUCY WESTENRA: He’s not a lord yet, Mina. He’s just... Arthur at the moment. And you say that like it’s an easy thing to do. It’s not the sort of thing you just tell someone. How do you make someone see - no, not just see, how do you make them know, feel in their hearts that they are the most important person in the world to you?

[A pause, then:]

MINA HARKER: I... have no idea, Lucy.

LUCY WESTENRA: And even if he did know, and if he did want to be with me... it’s still a tall order. To leave my life here, my friends, you, just to be with him? Is it worth it? Oh, listen to me, droning on and on. How are you? Any news from Jonathan?

MINA HARKER: Drabs. Two short letters to the bank, saying he was setting back shortly. Beyond that... nothing. But... it’s okay. I’m all right.

LUCY WESTENRA: ... Mina, how long have we known each other?

MINA HARKER: Oh, what... ten years, nine months, a few weeks?

LUCY WESTENRA: And in that time... when have you ever been able to lie to me? I assume this - all of this, the trip, his absence - is related to the other world the two of you work in? The one the official record will show I know nothing about? Well... just know I’m here for you. As your friend.

MINA HARKER: Thank you Lucy.

[Thunder rumbles around them.]

MINA HARKER: God, what is that?

[More thunder, along with a dramatic musical stinger.]

MINA HARKER: A storm appeared, out of nowhere. And then, in a burst of lighting -

[A crash of thunder.]

LUCY WESTENRA: Is - is that a ship?

MINA HARKER: It is... but it’s sailing in the strangest way. It’s... almost like there’s no one at the wheel.

[Amidst more thunder, there’s a splintering crash as the ship collides against the shore.]

[The sounds of the scene fade away, replaced by the familiar fireplace from the frame story.]

MINA HARKER: From the New York Tribune, August 6th, 1893. “One of the greatest and most sudden storms on record has just been experienced at the Southern end of the Long Island. Fortunately, the only sail noticeable in the waters at the time was a foreign schooner, which pitched itself against the rocky shore at the south-west corner of Seagate. When the coast guard arrived, they found no trace of the crew, save for a dead sailor, lashed to the wheel of the ship. Tied between the inner hand and the wood was a crucifix.”

COUNT DRACULA: Don’t look at me, I didn’t make him do that.

MINA HARKER: The ship was identified as a Russian vessel, set out from Varna. The Demeter. She held only a small amount of cargo, a number of wooden boxes, filled with dirt, which were delivered to their destination, a property in the city. It took quite a bit of doing, but I was able to acquire the ship’s log. It all -

COUNT DRACULA: Why?

MINA HARKER: I’m sorry?

COUNT DRACULA: Why? Why concern yourself with all of this? Why not just let it be one more... mystery of the sea?

[Mina scoffs.]

MINA HARKER: What are you kidding? A strange ship, halfway around the world? A missing crew, a dead man, and he’s using a crucifix to protect himself from a big, mysterious something? A circus strongman couldn’t have kept me away. Shut up.

COUNT DRACULA: I didn’t say -

MINA HARKER: Don’t smile at me like that.

COUNT DRACULA: Fine. The log of the Demeter, then. Translated from the original Russian.

[The scene fades, replaced by the sound of waves lapping against a hull and various other sounds of a ship at sea.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Log of Demeter. Kept by Captain Petrof Skinsky. 6 June. Finished taking in cargo, silver sand and boxes of earth. Set sail at half past eight.

[The ding of a nautical bell.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 11 June. Boarded by Turkish customs officers. Light bribes necessary. Journey unaffected.

[There’s the clink of several dozen coins being poured from one place to another.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 20 June. Crew seem anxious but no incident of note.

[The distant rumble of thunder. Rain falls under the following:]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 30 June. Olgaren reported that one of crew, the cook, Smilofsky, was missing. Olgaren also confided in me that he thought there was a strange man aboard the ship. He had been sheltering behind the deckhouse in the rain when he saw a tall, thin man. He went up the companion way, then along the deck forward, then disappeared. To allay any panic, I shall search entire ship, stem to stern.

[More waves crash, followed by the ding of the nautical bell.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 1 July. Search yielded no signs of stowaways, just the wooden boxes in the hold. The men are much relieved. We just crossed the strait at Gibraltar. The Atlantic awaits.

[Another burst of thunder and rain.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 6 July. Rough weather last three days. No time for crew to be frightened.

[The storm fades away. Another ding from the nautical bell. Ominous music begins to play under the following, growing louder and louder:]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 11 July. Another man disappeared. Kandinsky. Like the first, he came off his watch and was not seen again.

[Again, the ding of the nautical bell.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Set double watches throughout the ship, as men fear to be alone.

[Again, the ding of the nautical bell.]

[Rough winds and the flapping of sails can now be heard.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 20 July. Four days in hell, knocking about in a maelstrom. No sleep for anyone. Men worn out.

[The storm fades away.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 21 July. Another tragedy. Had single watch, men too tired. Come morning, could find no one on deck save the steersman. We are now without a second mate.

[Again, the ding of the nautical bell.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 30 July. Nearing America. Weather fine. All sails set. Retired early. Was awoken by First Mate. Both men on watch and steersman missing. Only self and mate and two hands left to work ship.

[A distorted, monstrous growl.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 1 August. Woke up from a few minutes’ sleep by hearing a cry.

[A distorted, terrified scream.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: I could see nothing in the fog, but I rushed on deck. No sign of the man on watch. Another one gone!

[A groan of wood.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: 2 August. At midnight went to relieve the man at the wheel, but I found no one at the helm. Shouted for the First Mate.

FIRST MATE OLGAREN: It is here, Captain, I saw it. Like a man - tall, thin, and ghastly pale. It is here and I’ll find it.

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: And with a warning look and his fingers on his lip, he went below.

[Some footsteps on the wooden planks of the deck…]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Olgaren was gone for an hour. Then another one. The wind was choppy, and I dared not leave the wheel.

[From the distance, Olgaren screams.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: There came a startled scream, which made my blood run cold. Olgaren ran up to the deck, running.

FIRST MATE OLGAREN: He is here, Captain. He is here. The sea - the sea will save me.

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: Save you? Save you from - ?

[A splash.]

CAPTAIN SKINSKY: The only answer I got from Olgaren was the sudden way he cast himself overboard. I am all alone now. Alone with the ship. At least... I hope I am alone.

[The ominous music ends, and all sounds of the ship fade away. They are replaced by the fireplace of the frame story.]

COUNT DRACULA: Eh. I never did manage to feed on Skinsky. His little ploy with the crucifix did that much at least.

MINA HARKER: You were hardly starving.

COUNT DRACULA: Hardly the point. Before a peasant revolt, Petrof Skinsky had once been in line to be a baron of the Caucasus. When he fled and became a sailor, he brought half his royal retinue with him. His loyal crew.

MINA HARKER: My my, we really are in awe of the nobility around these parts...

COUNT DRACULA: Why do you think I picked this particular ship? A convenient timetable? I wasn’t getting any older. Olgaren was an expert duelist. Abramoff had a brilliant mind for logistics. Smilofsky had cooked for the czarina.

MINA HARKER: And Kandinsky?

COUNT DRACULA: Ehh. A brute. Dumb muscle and a debilitating obsession with whorehouses. That one sat poorly with me. What’s that look?

MINA HARKER: Your great strength and your great weakness. They’re one and the same. Eat the right people, you take on their virtues. Eat the wrong ones and you become their weaknesses.

COUNT DRACULA: Mmm. A bit of junk food now and then never hurt anyone. What’s next?

[Tense music begins playing as the scene fades away.]

MINA HARKER: I spent the next few days cooped up in my study, going over the documents from the shipwreck.

[Pages are turned as Mina examines them.]

MINA HARKER: A mysterious killer, who hunted in the dark. And bringing boxes of earth with them, no less. We’d long known that a vampire must rest in the soil of their homeland. But if the soil was taken out of their homeland? Would that allow an undead creature to - ?

[A door opens. The tense music abruptly cuts off as Lucy enters.]

LUCY WESTENRA: Theater tickets. Tonight. Arthur will be there. I need my fearless accomplice.

MINA HARKER: No! I do not have time. Not tonight. No, don’t pout, I am not -

[A blast of theatrical fanfare. A crowd mills around.]

MAN: Intermission! Tonight’s theater production will resume in ten minutes!

MINA HARKER: For... some reason, I suddenly found myself in the mood for the theater after all. I’d left Lucy alone for a few minutes, so she could try to corner her Englishman. But then I spotted a familiar face.

MINA HARKER: Mr. Hawkins.

[Mr. Hawkins speaks in a voice that is like a low, posh growl.]

MR. HAWKINS: Mrs. Harker! Mina. I’m so glad to see you. Did my messenger find you?

MINA HARKER: Mess - ? No, he didn’t.

MR. HAWKINS: Ah, damnation. Mina, we received a letter today. From Jonathan.

MINA HARKER: What? What did it say?

MR. HAWKINS: Here, let’s step aside...

[Some footsteps. The sound of the crowd around them grows a bit fainter.]

MINA HARKER: Where is he? How is he?

MR. HAWKINS: On his way home. He was writing from Bistriz.

MINA HARKER: Bistriz? He’s only made it as far as Bistritz?

MR. HAWKINS: No, no, the letter is from May. It was delayed in transit. But he should be home very soon. Hell, the subject of his investigation actually beat him here.

MINA HARKER: Pardon me? Mr. Hawkins — my husband and I do not hide the nature of — of his work from each other. You can speak plainly to me.

MR. HAWKINS: Well, then I will. Jonathan reported that our information was just baseless rumors. He found no evidence of the suspected occult activity - cleared the count of all suspicion.

[We are suddenly back next to the fireplace in the frame story.]

MINA HARKER: “Cleared the count of all suspicion?”

COUNT DRACULA: I may have... ehhh, embellished things a bit. Smoothed things over between myself and Tellson’s Bank.

[The fireplace fades away and the sounds of the theater return.]

MINA HARKER: And... you’re sure that it was - ?

MR. HAWKINS: Quite positive. Trust me, I’d know Jonathan’s handwriting anywhere. And besides, I’ve met Count Dracula myself now. He’s quite courteous. Yes, Mina. He’s - he’s here.

MINA HARKER: He’s here? He’s here in New York?

MR. HAWKINS: No, Mina, he’s here. He’s uh... that gentleman, right there. The one in black.

[A faint, distorted wolf howl.]

MINA HARKER: ... excuse me, Mr. Hawkins. I must attend to this.

[Footsteps as Mina walks across the room. After a few moments, we hear the sound of Lucy laughing.]

LUCY WESTENRA: Oh my god, that is unbelievable. You are too much. I - Mina! Come, you must absolutely meet Mister...

COUNT DRACULA: Count, actually. Count Dracula.

LUCY WESTENRA: Ohh, well then. Mina, this is Count Dracula.

COUNT DRACULA: A pleasure.

MINA HARKER: Charmed.

COUNT DRACULA: But Miss Lucy, you were just telling me about the -

MINA HARKER: Mina Harker, Count.

COUNT DRACULA: …Harker. As in...

MINA HARKER: Jonathan Harker’s wife, sir.

COUNT DRACULA: Well. I owe your husband a great debt. He was... instrumental in my coming to America.

MINA HARKER: I must say, for someone who has just arrived in America your English is remarkable.

COUNT DRACULA: Another thing for which I have your husband to thank. A most dedicated instructor.

MINA HARKER: I’m sure he was. And where did you part ways with him?

COUNT DRACULA: My... coachman, ma’am, he took your husband back to Bistritz. Has he not returned yet? Hmm. Ah well... sometimes delays in travel are inevitable. I’m sure he will turn up any day now.

MINA HARKER: I’m sure he will.

[Another burst of fanfare from the theater’s orchestra.]

MINA HARKER: The play’s about to begin again. Come, Lucy: we should return to our seats.

COUNT DRACULA: Yes... a pleasure to meet you, Madame Harker. And you as well, Miss Westenra. I... very much look forward to meeting you again.

[The sounds of the theater fade away, replaced by the fireplace of the frame story.]

MINA HARKER: Tell me... what was it about Lucy? I... know Jonathan loved her, but -

COUNT DRACULA: No. You know exactly what it was about her. The first time you met her. You were fifteen. It was a rare, cold day in summer. Her hair was long, and her eyes danced, and she was kind. She was so kind. And when she laughed, you thought to yourself, “My god...”

MINA HARKER: “... her voice sounds like sunshine.” I remember that.

COUNT DRACULA: And you were right. She was sunshine. I could not stay away from her, any more than you could. We both want what we can’t have.

MINA HARKER: And so you saw something that beautiful and you just -

COUNT DRACULA: Oh, not this. Not from you. I guarantee: at least one steak you’ve eaten has come from a beloved cow. You just do it, you just... live.

MINA HARKER: What you do isn’t living.

[A howl of a wolf, and the sounds of the fireplace fade away.]

MINA HARKER: Journal of Mina Harker. August 15th. I have obtained Jonathan’s most correspondence to the bank. As letters go, this one is... terse.

JONATHAN HARKER: “Dear all. Have arrived safely at Bistriz. Will be starting for home in next few days. Yours, Harker.”

[A door opens.]

LUCY WESTENRA: Mina.

MINA HARKER: Lucy - come in, come in. I am so sorry. I am organizing papers, so everything is a mess.

LUCY WESTENRA: You work much too much, Mina.

MINA HARKER: Well, I am stopping now. What can I do for you, my friend?

LUCY WESTENRA: Oh, I thought I might distract you with some new gossip about - Oh.

MINA HARKER: Lucy, are you - ?

LUCY WESTENRA: Quite all right, Mina. Just... the room spun around me for a moment.

MINA HARKER: She didn’t look all right. She was pale and shaky. Her eyes unfocused.

LUCY WESTENRA: I’ll be all right, I just need to... to... Ahh...

[Lucy collapses.]

MINA HARKER: Oh my god, Lucy! Lucy!

[The scene fades away.]

MINA HARKER: August 16th. Doctor Caffyn came by the house that Lucy shares with her mother.

DOCTOR CAFFYN: Exhaustion. With just a touch of fever. A few days’ bed rest.

[Doctor Caffyn speaks with a low, monotone voice.]

MINA HARKER: Are you... certain, doctor?

DOCTOR CAFFYN: Quite, Mrs. Harker. It is a very common diagnosis. Life these days... young people try to go too fast. It catches up to them.

MINA HARKER: But... she drifts in and out of consciousness. She’s disoriented, she’s weak... are you sure it’s just exhaustion?

DOCTOR CAFFYN: What else could it be, Mrs. Harker?

MINA HARKER: Blood loss, perhaps?

DOCTOR CAFFYN: What would cause her to loose that much blood?

MINA HARKER: There’s a wound on her neck, it’s -

DOCTOR CAFFYN: Quite small, and already closing up. For the amount of blood you’re talking about, it would take... Let her rest, Mrs. Harker. Your friend should begin to show signs of improvement in just a few days.

[Under the following, we hear the sound of a pen writing on paper…]

MINA HARKER: August 17th... the patient is still weak and feverish... August 19th, no signs of improvement... August 20th... Lucy’s mother insists on allowing all manner of visitors at all hours of the day... August 22nd, Lucy seems weaker, and the wound looks fresh again... August 24th, a marked turn for the worse. Lucy was ghastly, pale like chalk. Her breathing was painful. Enough is enough.

[A page is torn out of a notebook. The scene fades to a quiet space.]

[A squeak of metal as a lamp is lit.]

LUCY WESTENRA: ... Mina...?

MINA HARKER: Hello you... Welcome back to the world of the living.

LUCY WESTENRA: Where... where am I?

MINA HARKER: You’re in my home. I... I had you moved here.

LUCY WESTENRA: My mother allowed this?

MINA HARKER: I had some strong words with her.

LUCY WESTENRA: And now you have me here, in your bed, while your husband is away. What will people say?

[She laughs, then coughs.]

MINA HARKER: Easy, easy.

LUCY WESTENRA: It’s dark outside. I’ve been... asleep for some time, haven’t I?

MINA HARKER: Don’t worry about that.

LUCY WESTENRA: But - but what is -

[Lucy moves, causing several items to clatter.]

LUCY WESTENRA: Oh. Mina, what is all this?

MINA HARKER: That is some... medical equipment which I commandeered. You had lost a lot of blood, Lucy. I gave you some of mine. It’s fine. I had plenty. There’s more than enough of me to spare.

LUCY WESTENRA: How do you know how to do this? You’re - you’re a schoolteacher.

MINA HARKER: I’ve led an interesting life. Whenever you weren’t looking.

[In the distance, there’s a knock on the door.]

LUCY WESTENRA: Are you expecting someone?

MINA HARKER: I am very much not. Stay here, Lucy. I’ll... I’ll be right back.

[There’s footsteps as Mina walks out of the room and down a set of stairs. Again, we hear knocking, now much closer.]

[The door opens. We hear the sounds of open night air, including the hum of cicadas.]

[A pause, then…]

DOCTOR CAFFYN: Evening Madame.

[Mina gasps, startled.]

MINA HARKER: Doc-doctor Caffyn? Is that you?

DOCTOR CAFFYN: Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just a dark night.

MINA HARKER: It’s all right, sir.

DOCTOR CAFFYN: And I’m sorry for calling so late, but is Miss Lucy Westenra here?

MINA HARKER: Why do you need to know that, sir?

[In the distance, a bell tolls.]

DOCTOR CAFFYN: Her mother, madame. Out of her mind with worry. Came to my home, woke me up. Insisted I come here, make sure her daughter is all right. I told her, it was just a case of exhaustion, but... So? Is she here? Can I see her? So I can soothe her mother’s worries and - [he yawns] - get a bit of sleep?

MINA HARKER: Miss Westenra is... very important to me, doctor. I wanted to have her here, to be able to monitor her condition. And I am very happy to say that she has been improving these past few days.

DOCTOR CAFFYN: Wonderful. I am happy to hear that.

MINA HARKER: I am happy to report it. Well, I appreciate you coming by, Doctor Caffyn, but if that is all...

[She starts to close the door…]

DOCTOR CAFFYN: Uhhh, wait, wait... Might I be able to examine Miss Westenra? To reassure Mrs. Westenra, you understand. Please?

MINA HARKER: Well... if it’ll help both of you get a good night’s sleep...

[The door swings open.]

MINA HARKER: She is in the guest bedroom, third door on the right from the stairs.

[A pause.]

MINA HARKER: Oh, is there a problem? Don’t you want to step in, out of the dark?

DOCTOR CAFFYN: No, not a problem, Madame Harker, but... Heh, it’s not considered polite. For a man to enter a woman’s home without a… direct invitation to do so.

MINA HARKER: Hmm… I tend to find, sir, that a doctor goes wherever he is needed. If, that is, he really is a doctor.

[A dark drone begins to build underneath the dialogue.]

MINA HARKER: Oh, but I think we do have a problem, wouldn’t you say?

DOCTOR CAFFYN: I daresay we do. I was hoping we could do this the easy way.

[A fwumph of a cloak.]

COUNT DRACULA: But fine. The hard way then.

MINA HARKER: Count Dracula. But how did you... what did you do with Doctor Caffyn?

COUNT DRACULA: Oh, the good doctor and I had a quick word on the subject of blood donation. Very enlightening.

MINA HARKER: You admit it, then? You, Count Dracula, are a vampire?

COUNT DRACULA: I am. And you, Madame Harker... are a widow.

[A sudden thud goes through the air. Mina takes a breath. Then:]

MINA HARKER: If we are speaking plainly, then let me make one thing extremely clear. You are not invited to come into my residence. Good night, sir.

COUNT DRACULA: It’s not too late. It’s not too late to do the smart thing, Mina. Moving Lucy out of her home... Tsk, tsk. Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s very rude to interrupt a man in the middle of a meal?

MINA HARKER: Propriety was not my top concern at the time.

COUNT DRACULA: I’ll tell you what should be your top concern: angering me. Return the girl, and I will not touch you. All you have to do is stand aside.

[A pause. Then… the squeak of a door opening.]

MINA HARKER: Count Dracula, let me put this in the only terms your kind tends to understand: this woman belongs to me. Meddle with her and you’ll have to deal with me.

COUNT DRACULA: Hmmph. Tell me widow Harker... do you have any idea who you are dealing with?

MINA HARKER: A better one than most. I am dealing with vermin. With a beast that taught itself to stand on two legs, and is oh-so-proud of its little trick. I know the rules by which you are governed. I know how far you can go.

COUNT DRACULA: Heh. Rules... oh, yes, I have rules. But you know the funny thing about rules? Sometimes a rule isn’t actually a rule. You shouldn’t believe everything that you read in books. For example... that whole business about not being able to enter a home without an invitation...

[A sudden, lunging sound, with an animal-like snarl. Mina gasps, startled and scared.]

COUNT DRACULA: Hahahahahahahhaahaha... oh, you should see your face.

[A heartbeat can now be heard…]

MINA HARKER: You… you…

COUNT DRACULA: “If a place is a home, the vampire may only enter after he’s been invited in.” The books did get that one right. But what you’re feeling right now? That fear? Remember that. Hold onto it. You think you know how far I go? I’m here to tell you: no you don’t.

[A pause. Then…]

MINA HARKER: Fine.

[A footstep. Dracula chuckles.]

COUNT DRACULA: ... what are you doing?

[Mina takes a few more footsteps as she says:]

MINA HARKER: You want to see fear? Fine. I’ll show you fear. What’ll happen if I step past the threshold?

COUNT DRACULA: I will rip you to shreds.

MINA HARKER: Will you? Even in the sight of this crucifix?

[A jangle as she holds up the crucifix, accompanied by an angelic hum.]

COUNT DRACULA: You... you think I fear that bauble? That just because you hold up a crucifix I’m going to - ?

MINA HARKER: Yes, I do.

COUNT DRACULA: I’m not afraid of -

MINA HARKER: Back.

[Dracula growls under his breath.]

COUNT DRACULA: You are -

MINA HARKER: I said back.

[He growls again, far less in control.]

[Mina takes another footstep.]

MINA HARKER: Well? I am past the threshold. Why are you not ripping me to shreds?

COUNT DRACULA: I... I am... I will -

MINA HARKER: Back!

[He snarls at her, breathing hard, nearly delirious.]

MINA HARKER: See? You fear this. In a way that I don’t fear you.

COUNT DRACULA: You dare to think you are stronger than I am?

MINA HARKER: I think... I know... that I can face my fear. I can stand up to it. Whereas you...

[He loses his balance. Falls over with an animal-like cry.]

MINA HARKER: ... you fall down at the sight of yours.

[He snarls at her.]

MINA HARKER: No, no. Down, boy. Stay down. There, that’s a good beast. I want you to remember this fear. Hold onto it. Come back to it the next time you get ideas above your station, Count.

[A pause, then…]

COUNT DRACULA: You... who are you?

[A few footsteps, then:]

MINA HARKER: I am the widow of Jonathan Harker. I am the woman who is going to destroy you. Good evening to you, Count Dracula.

[Mina shuts the door. All sounds of the exterior cut off.]

[A pause.]

[Then… Mina sobs. Breaking down crying.]

[The scene fades away.]

MINA HARKER: The next day... I spoke with Lucy.

LUCY WESTENRA: He’s... he’s really dead? Jonathan?

MINA HARKER: I don’t know. It could be a baroque lie. I’d quite like it if it was a baroque lie. No, it’s - it’s true. I’ve been feeling it in my gut. For days now.

LUCY WESTENRA: Mina... who is Count Dracula?

MINA HARKER: He’s a monster. A very clever monster. That I’m going to destroy.

LUCY WESTENRA: You say things like that, and you think I don’t notice you aren’t actually answering my question.

MINA HARKER: Lucy, I... it’s a lot. You wouldn’t understand.

LUCY WESTENRA: I’ve been your friend for ten years, nine months, and however many weeks. You ever think I maybe could maybe... understand all the things you don’t tell me?

MINA HARKER: Lucy... I don’t deserve a friend like you.

LUCY WESTENRA: Very few do. You’re one of them.

MINA HARKER: I’ll... make you a deal. I’ll tell you what is happening. But then I’m going to tell you to do something. And you’re just going to do it.

LUCY WESTENRA: Will it be something I want to do?

MINA HARKER: Yes and no. But you’re going to do it. For me.

MINA HARKER: And so I told her everything.

[The scene fades, replaced by the hustle and bustle of a market.]

MINA HARKER: Later that day, I went to the market, to look for some supplies. Garlic. Mountain ash. Everything I knew that had an effect on -

OFFICER SMOLLET: Mrs. Harker?

[Officer Smollet speaks in a gruff voice with a Brooklyn accent.]

MINA HARKER: Officer Smollet. Good afternoon.

OFFICER SMOLLET: Afternoon, Mrs. Harker. I’m afraid you need to come with me, ma’am.

MINA HARKER: Excuse me?

OFFICER SMOLLET: Precinct got a letter. Expressing concern about you, ma’am. Erratic behavior. Says they’re afraid you’ll hurt yourself. Or others.

MINA HARKER: What is that non- whose business is it? Who would do such thing?

OFFICER SMOLLET: Ma’am, that’s... The letter’s from your husband. Mr. Jonathan Harker. I just came down from Tellson’s. Mr. Hawkins corroborated. It’s his handwriting. His signature.

MINA HARKER: But - I have been behaving exactly the way I’ve always been behaving.

OFFICER SMOLLET: Still, ma’am, we have to take him at his word. He’s your husband. I need you to come down to the precinct. A doctor will look you over. Give you the all clear, chances are. But still. The sooner we go, the sooner we’re done.

MINA HARKER: This - this is a farce. This is outrageous.

OFFICER SMOLLET: Might be. But sorting that out’s above my pay-grade. Come on, ma’am.

[The scene fades away.]

COUNT DRACULA: A few hours later, once night had fallen...

[A door opens. Footsteps approach, coming up a set of stairs. A door opens as Dracula enters the room.]

COUNT DRACULA: Good evening, miss Lucy. No, please, please, don’t get up. It’s a funny thing. What makes a home... a home? I don’t know. But a long time ago, I discovered something interesting. It turns out that... if you own a home... you can invite yourself into that home. And this particular home... was just signed over to one Count Dracula in paperwork filed by Jonathan Harker. A little strange, since Mr. Harker has been absent for some time, but... they’ll find the signature is a perfect match. Your friend underestimated me greatly if she thought her rules could stop me. Maybe now she’ll understand: it’s not the beast she should be afraid of, it’s the man.

[A rustle of cloth as he pulls the covers off the bed.]

COUNT DRACULA: But come on, Lucy... up you come. Let’s you and me have a drink to -

[He throws the sheets off the bed. Stops.]

COUNT DRACULA: ... I see. Well, then.

[A pause. He takes a deep breath.]

[Then, he lets out an angry cry and hurls something at a mirror, shattering it.]

[He exhales.]

[The scene fades away. We are somewhere dark and damp, with water dripping around us.]

MINA HARKER: And then... there was me.

[A metal hatch squeaks as it opens.]

COUNT DRACULA: Good evening. I went by your house tonight, Madame Harker. Or, well, excuse me - my house. I thought I’d find Miss Lucy. Instead, I found this.

[An object lands on the ground.]

COUNT DRACULA: Ship’s time tables. One in particular has been circled. The RMS Priscilla. The last ship to depart from the docks... before sundown today.

[From an adjacent room, we hear strange, distorted screams.]

COUNT DRACULA: On board, returning home after a prolonged absence, is one Arthur Holmwood. Accompanied by a young lady whom he has grown quite fond of... and who is hoping the ocean air might help her recover from a lingering illness. A good move. I can appreciate that. But now... now comes my move.

[Again, we hear a horrified scream from a nearby room.]

COUNT DRACULA: I know these kinds of places can be scary, but we are going to take absolutely excellent care of you while you’re in our hands. And remember: it’s all for your own good. Your behavior was starting to worry others. But it’s all right. We’ll help you. You just need to open up. To... to let me in. And then the healing can begin. Welcome to Carfax Asylum, Madame Harker. I’m sure you’re going to enjoy your time here immensely.

[Another squeak as the metal hatch is closed and locked.]

[The main theme for Dracula: The Danse Macabre begins to play. Over it, we hear:]

ANNOUNCER: This has been Dracula: The Danse Macabre, created by Gabriel Urbina. Tonight’s episode was written and directed by Gabriel Urbina. Based on the novel Dracula by Bram Stoker. Starring Evangeline Young and Peter Coleman. Featuring original music by Alan Rodi and sound design by Jeffrey Nils Gardner. Script editing by Sarah Shachat. Recorded by Robby Schwartz at Soho Recording. This has been a Long Story Short Production. Thank you for listening.

The End of the Show

GABRIEL URBINA: Hello dear listeners, and welcome once again the end of the show. This is Gabriel Urbina, the writer and the director of the episode you just heard, here to steal just a few more seconds of your time with three quick messages. 

First of all, if you're enjoying our take on Dracula so far, please take a second to rate and review the show wherever you listen. It makes a huge difference in terms of people finding the show, and we want as many people as possible who would love this to get to find the show and get to listen to it. 

Second of all, if you think the hour of free content you just heard was worth a little something - say, the price of a cup of coffee or an issue of a comic book - please consider helping us make more free content for everyone by giving us whatever you feel this episode is worth. This show has been possible thanks to the bits of funds that were in the coffers of the Gabriel Urbina Foundation for the Independent Online Arts and every contribution from a listener we get helps to replenish those coffers so we can make more free content in the future. So if you can - but seriously only if you can - please consider signing up for a recurring donation over at patreon.com/gabrielurbina. There’s a link to that in the episode description.

Finally, from everyone here at the show, we want to thank you for listening. As Episode Two comes out, it's about to be Thanksgiving 2024, and getting to make this show and getting to share it with all of you is one of the things we are most grateful for this year. So from the bottom of our hearts: thank you, thank you, thank you all so much

Okay, that's it for today. I'll be back here on the feed next week to share another amazing show that you should all be listening to, and then we'll be back with more of Dracula and Mina one week later, on December 11th. 

So, please take care of yourselves until then, and we'll see you back here in two weeks' time for Episode 3: Experimental Purposes.